The Cannes Film Festival is a staple and highlight of my year. It's a sunny and glamourous break from the every-day, a chance to update my stock library with a few big-name celebs, and (hopefully) make enough money to cover costs and justify being there in the first place. If I'm absolutely honest, there's also a wee element of annual holiday involved, especially when you find yourself among friends from Britain, France, Germany and the States, all singing karaoke at stoopid o'clock in the morning, and ignoring the fact there's a photocall first thing the next day.
But just to show it's not all swanning around in the sun, here's a typically busy day from this years festival:
8am Drag myself up and out to meet a colleague for a coffee and croissant to kick-start the day.
9am Arrive at Majestic Pier on the Croisette for an Aishwara Rai photocall promoting her new film 'Heroine'.
Have to get there early to bag a decent position, only to find that the subject usually stands nowhere near where you've bagged.
Aishwarya arrives after forty minutes, hair blowing all over her face and seemingly unable to stand still, while an elderly women flounders in the sea behind her taking a novice water ski-ing lesson (presumably not part of the photocall). Not the best pictures.
10am Head further down the Croisette to the Carlton Pier to arrive even earlier for the next photocall, as Keith Allen and Mohammed Al Fayed's film about Diana's death is causing much controversy and media interest. (Conspiracy theorists might be interested to note that French photographers were the last to arrive this time.) After jostling for position, we were told that the guests would be facing a completely different direction, causing mild mayhem and multiple shouts of "I was here first" as we re-arrange ourselves to face the right way.
We wait for an hour and a half, only to be told that Mohammed Al Fayed isn't coming.
The photocall of Keith Allen takes two minutes.
One and a half of which he keeps his sunglasses on for.
Not great pictures. Again.
12pm Head to a nearby bar which has much faster wifi than the Official Press Centre, though that may have something to do with only three of us using it instead of three hundred. We've started using the bar so regularly that they now stock PG Tips just for 'Le Rosbif'.
Download, edit, caption and send pics, check emails, send out accreditation requests and bitch about the day so far.
2pm Grab sandwich on my way to an official photocall at the Festival Palais Terrace for 'Restless', an American film in competition, but with only two actors of interest. My official position (the podium is numbered) is way up in the Gods, so I have to squirrel my way into a better position, smiling sweetly and begging favours. End up second row, which is a great improvement on fifth. At least I can see feet now.
2.30pm I've had a call from the Guardian asking if I can scour the Palais taking pics of posters from a list of films they are featuring. Films include 'Pregnant Man', 'Cool Gel Attacks' and 'Nazis At The Centre Of The Earth' - I suspect it's not a heavyweight piece. This takes longer than I thought, as there are hundreds of film companies represented in the Palais, but it's an enjoyable change.
5pm Just enough time to head back to my apartment, iron a shirt (just the collar and front if I'm in a rush, as I'm wearing a jacket over the rest), change into my tuxedo and dash back to the red carpet.
6pm First premiere of the evening, for French film 'Habemus Papam'. The stars of the film are of little interest to the UK market (though a frame or two if you're there doesn't hurt - you never know). But special guests often turn up at these premieres, and tonight it's Cheryl Cole in a very revealing open fronted white dress. As on the photocall podium, official spots on the carpet are numbered, but unless you're on the front row it's a free for all of tip-toeing over people's shoulders and making the best of whatever view you can get. I managed to sneak a small folding step past security (steps aren't allowed on the carpet) to give me some extra height. Other colleagues have worn orthopaedic stacked shoes, or seventies disco jobs, to sidestep the rules (no pun intended). But my view is still obscured in parts by other people's cameras, flash brackets and elbows. I got some decent half lengths, but as my school report often said: 'could've done better'.
All too fleetingly, she's gone.
7pm Dash off to the bar again to quickly edit and send the Cheryl pics in time for tomorrow's papers. Cross fingers.
8.30pm Back to the red carpet for the second premiere. There's a rumour that Sarah Jessica Parker will be a guest at this one, but she's a no show.
9.30pm All the British photographers decide to go and eat before returning for the last premiere, holding out hope that SJP WILL turn up still. We go to the same restaurant we invariably end up in, mainly because it's quick, close to the Palais, and they can always rustle up a table for ten at midnight (or even later).
12am Back to the red carpet for the final premiere of the day, Chinese film 'Wu Xia'. Sarah Jessica Parker finally arrives, and because less photographers are attending this late, I've got more room to move, resulting in a much better selection of images.
1am It's way too late to send pictures back, and normally at this point we'd all go for few beers to unwind (after a 16 hour day you need it), but for once I decide to be sensible and bail to put my gear on charge and get a decent night's sleep.
Tomorrow it starts again.
